Snow in October…and a shift in the balance

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My backyard garden on New York's upper East Side

My backyard had no idea of the destruction that was to come.

This was the way my garden looked last summer, and the summer before that. The big wild black cherry tree that sat in my backyard for as long as I’ve lived there reached out its branches to shade my Rhododendron and lent a branch to hold up a lantern or two as well. But last Saturday, the fine balance of tree and yard came to an end when during the freak October snowstorm, the mighty tree fell, right before my eyes. I was sitting at my window talking to a friend, commenting on how I hoped the snow on the tree still laden with leaves, wouldn’t break any branches, when I saw the tree fall over. It seemed to fall in slow motion and barely made a sound. I couldn’t believe it! It totally up-routed itself, taking along my deck and fence and laying to rest across three other building yards. I am thankful that no one was outside when it fell and it did not fall onto any buildings.

Fallen Tree

My fallen tree

However, I am saddened by the loss of this great tree. The tree man who came to assess the damage told me that probably no one planted it, that most likely it just grew on its own. It stood for well over the 30 years that I had come to know it. It was witness to many a garden party and evening gathering.

So what did I learn from this experience? Nothing is permanent. There is a fine balance in life which sometimes tips one way or the other. We can’t always be prepared for the tip, but we can learn to re-set the balance.  My deck will be rebuilt (hopefully insurance will help with that), and it will probably feel a bit more spacious and be sunnier. I may even be able to plant those flowers that never would grow before because they needed more sun.  But still, I will miss that great old tree.

A great old tree – it served me well!

Remembering 9/11

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Photomontage of Ground Zero days after the attacks. Military guards, smoldering ruins and the clock stopped
I created this photomontage from photographs that I took at Ground Zero in the days after the WTC attacks of 9/11. “Here is New York : A Democracy of Photographs” an exhibition that was initially set up in a storefront in response to the World Trade Center tragedy. 

10 years have gone by since that terrible day in 2001. I remember that morning all too well. The sky was blue and the sun was shining.  I was getting ready to vote in the primary and go to work. My friend David phoned and told me to turn on the news. Together we watched what looked like a small plane crash into one of the towers. The magnitude of what had just happened before our eyes had yet to make sense to me. Still believing this to be an accident, I went to vote. The polls had yet to close. I then got on the subway (even they were still running) and traveled to my office on 26th and Broadway. Crossing 5th Avenue I looked south and saw the black smoke rising from the street in the distance. I saw people in tears hugging each other. The towers had fallen. Stunned I went up to my office. The phone rang – it was my friend Sue telling me to get out of there. My office was near the Empire State Building. Who knew what could happen next. I left my office and started the long walk back uptown along with everyone else trying to get as far from downtown as possible. It was a surreal exodus. A distraught man stopped me and asked if he could borrow my phone to call his wife. He had been down near the World Trade Center when it happened and wanted her to know that he was ok. I gave him the phone but he couldn’t get through. Everyone else with a cell phone was attempting to to the same thing.

I walked until my feet were covered in blisters. My high heeled sandals were not exactly made for walking long distances in. Later, when I finally went back to work, I brought a pair of sneakers to leave in my office, just in case. When I finally got home I went to my local salon for a pedicure – just so I didn’t have to be alone. I remember being glued to the TV for days watching those horrible scenes played over and over again. I remember walking in Central Park a few days later with a friend  trying to make sense of it all, while the scent of ash, carried all the way uptown, marred another beautiful day. I volunteered at the Salvation Army, trying to feel useful.

And now it is 10 years later. Life has gone on. But I will never forget that senseless day when terror shook our city to it’s very core and thousands of innocent people and those brave first responders lost their lives. It is for them that I remember and pay them tribute.

 

Changing Direction to Achieve Goals

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Lao Tsu inspirational quote

Seen on the subway, this ad for FlatRate Moving got me thinking about change.

I was on the Lexington Avenue subway the other day when I saw this ad and couldn’t help snapping a photo of it. The Lao Tsu quote certainly resonated with me since I have been taking a deeper look at my life lately. So often we get stuck in the same routine, unable to move forward. Take me for instance. I’ve lived in the same apartment for longer than I care to acknowledge publicly. I’ve had the same career since I graduated college and I worked for a company for almost 12 years — until one day I got laid off.

This one event caused me to make my first change in direction. Instead of looking for another job, I decided to start my own business. I didn’t know if it would succeed, but I knew that if I didn’t try I would always have the unanswered question rattling around in my brain, “could I have done it?” I took the risk and, while it has not always been easy, I have never looked back. That was 18 years ago. Change is good.

I know that there are more things that I want to achieve in my life, both professionally and personally. I can envision them. In fact I even made my first vision board that shows quite clearly what some of those things are. There are some empty spaces on my vision board. It’s a work in progress, just as my life is. Changing direction is sometimes necessary to get you where you’re supposed to end up.

Vision Boards are a visualization tool to help turn goals & dreams into reality. Many life coaches recommend them. They are pretty simple to make. There are different types of vision boards and many creative ways of making them. I found an interesting blog article on how to make a vision board that you might find useful.

I recently started a new inspirational T-shirt business which, if all goes the way I envision, will steer me in an exciting new direction and lead me toward attaining some or all of the goals and dreams on my vision board. There may be detours along the way and I might stumble a bit, but I am looking forward to the ride.